More fun with group dinners - more rambling from me

I don't know if we will keep doing this group dinner thing. It feels more like work each time... there's no way I could ever host a social, it's just too much work. These dinners are hard enough!

So this last weekend we had a dinner scheduled and I'd made the reservation early as I knew this restaurant tends to fill up. The largest group they'd do a reservation for was 12 and since we had 10 at the last dinner I thought we might hit that total. Early on in responses it was starting to look like it was going to be us and one other couple that we'd met at the previous dinner we hosted. Then last week we were notified by 2 other couples that we enjoy that they would both be there. Then one more last minute addition the day before, put us at 5 couples (total 10 out of our allowed 12).

I called the restuarant Saturday morning to confirm our reservation and told them it would just be 10, and since rarely does everyone who says they will be there actually show up we figured that was a safe call either way. So about 2 hours before we are scheduled to be there I'm on SLS and I get a message from a new couple who just joined our group and while chatting with the female half she mentions that they are free that night. I pointed out the group dinner and invited them (figured we could probably still get them to put 2 more chairs at hte table if we needed to). They were new and non-committal so we didn't really count on them. Then I got an email from the 1 couple that was signed up to come that we hadn't met yet saying that they had been talking to another couple and wanted to invite them along. I wrote back explaining that our reservation was for 10 at this point and knowing how packed the restaurant was (and that we already had one maybe that would push us over the edge) that it probably wasn't a good idea.

So off we head to dinner. We got there a bit early (just in case) which turned out to be a good thing because the restaurant was packed and getting there early got us a buzzer and on the list. Eight O'clock rolls around and it's still just us. We wait and wait and are beginning to discuss the idea that we have just been stood up by not 1 but 4 couples in one night. We are thinking that perhaps the new couple may have hooked up with the one other couple they had already met and merged with the other couple they wanted to invite and do their own thing (since they were all from the same general area)... and wondering WTF happend to our friends. Of course at the same time, we knew that one of those friends was still showing up online on SLS at 7:15 and they live about 45 minutes away.

Finally at about 8:15 or so the first couple shows up (one of the couples we already knew well), and shortly after they arrive the others show up one couple at a time until we have 5 couples. Then the new couple tells us that they didn't get our message back regarding the other couple and after conferring with the couple they'd already met told them to go ahead and come. Luckily, I had already asked to have 2 more seats added to our table if possible. Evidently this couple got lost as they finally showed up about the time we were all finished eating. It turned out to be a good group and we had a good time overall.

We do wonder if it's really worth the effort tho. We can't seem to get any input on where people want to go, I do the planning and line up a restaurant and get the reservation, etc. And after 4 of these dinners, we met one couple through them that we'd like to get to know better. We would have liked to that night (and had the option to) but other circumstances just didn't work out. The problem often ends up being that the couples who show up that we aren't interested in suck our energy out, since as hosts we don't want to leave anyone feeling uninvited (if that makes sense). The last two dinners we've done we've gone into with the attitude that this may be our last one because of the effort involved... and yet at the end of the night we did have a good time.

We're thinking that instead of planning so far ahead we may change things and just plan them a week in advance once we see a weekend coming up where there is nothing else worth doing (no socials, etc) and then send out a note to folks and see who shows up. All in all, it's still a lot better than meeting new couples one on one for dinner or drinks... but not as much fun as going to a club or social.